MLP:FIM S6E8,9,10,11, and 12

Well everyone, it's now time for me to catch up on all the pony episodes I haven't done yet, and with the show in another mid season break (GRRRR!!!!!  Especially since it's not even an even break like last season).

A Hearth's Warming Tale:

Really show?  A Christmas episode in May?  I'm starting to think there's no such thing as a War on Christmas...or if there is, then Christmas is winning, granted, American Dad! also just did a Christmas episode in June, but at least they had the guts to realize that it wasn't in December.

Also, it's a musical...so yeah...you know what, I'm gonna replace the songs they did use with better ones.  Anyway, the episode starts with everypony getting ready for Hearthswarming Eve.



Derpy:  A Derp on top to complete all the scenery!

Yeah, Derpy does that because of course she would.

All is happy for Pony Christmas, all that is except Charlie Brown...I mean Starlight Glimmer.

Starlight Glimmer:  I just don't get it.  Hearthswarming Eve is just too commercial.
Twilight Sparkle:  Aw, that's just because you haven't heard the right story.
Starlight Glimmer:  Is this the part of the show where you recite the Bible?
Twilight Sparkle:  No, the stupid PC police won't let us.
Starlight Glimmer:  Filthy Liberals.
Twilight Sparkle:  Yeah, so now we have to do a Christmas Carol parody.
Starlight Glimmer:  Fuck.

Yeah, so now we meet Snowfall Frost who hates "Christmas" and thinks it's just a day for ponies to be lazy and blah blah blah Rainbow Dash is Snowdash/Bob Cratchet.

Sorry folks, I don't know if it's because it's a Christmas Carol parody or it happened a while ago or it's a musical episode or if it's because after Hearthbreakers all Christmas episodes from this show are pointless (probably the last one), but just roll with it.

Since Snowdash would rather do Christmas stuff then work, Snowfrost decides to make a spell that will remove the holiday from the calendar.



However, this brings the ire of the Ghosts of Hearths Warming, with the first up being Past (Applejack) to show her where she lost her way.



Yeah, turns out she was influenced by Professor Snape to work hard to make Ponykind better instead of celebrate Christmas.

Professor Snape:  Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to go jerk off to picture's of Harry's dead mom or something like that.

So once Applejack is done, it's now time for Presents's (Pinkie Pie) turn.

Snowfall Frost:  Don't you mean Present?
Pinkie Pie:  No, it's all about the presents.
Snowfall Frost:  I knew it!
Pinkie Pie:  Not like that though.



So yeah, turns out Presents are an allegory for acts of kindness and thoughtfulness and what not.  Also, we see old timey Rarity, Fluttershy, Vinyl Scratch and Octavia.  Oh, and Snowdash the thing about mocking her boss and what not, so Snowfall's still gonna take out the holiday since it still serves no purpose other than commercialism, so in comes Christmas Future (Princess Luna).



Turns out that without "Christmas", everypony becomes a super jerk that brings the Windegos back to freeze everyone to death.  So now that Snowfall Frost knows that without Hearths Warming everypony will die, she celebrates and good times are had by all.

Starlight Glimmer:  Really?  If we don't celebrate Hearths Warming we'll all freeze to death?
Twilight Sparkle:  What if I let you invite Trixie over to hang out next time she's in town?
Starlight Glimmer:  HAPPY HEARTHS WARMING EVERYPONY!!!

So everypony has a good time and celebrates with Rainbow Dash's dad and HOLY SHIT RAINBOW DASH'S DAD!!!!

Oh, they (by which I mean I) save the best Christmas song for last to sing.



The Saddle Row Review:

First off, hooray for them changing the title from Saddle Row & Rec, this new title makes way more sense.

Twilight, Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy are running to Rarity's house to prevent her from reading a review done about the opening of her new Manehatten store "Rarity For You", which makes me think of "Pizza for U", which is great.

However, Rarity got to the paper first, so they're all boned.

We then flashback to sometime in between the opening and now, where Pony Jay Jonah Jameson interviews the ponies in the Diner from Pulp Fiction since we also see Vincent Vega and Samuel L. Jackson's character Ponies.

Samuel L. Jackson:  I am sick and tired of this motherfucking magic in this motherfucking friendship.

So through more flashbacks within this flashback, we go to the opening of Rarity For You, where Rarity still has a lot to do tonight, and also has to hire her landlord's daughter or else he'll raise her rent so high that she won't be able to stay there.

Can't wait to see that episode of Judge Trudy...or make that episode of Judge Trudy...doesn't have to be Judge Trudy.

She also has to deal with:

Setting up a window display.
Living underneath a dance club.
A Raccoon infestation.
Having the other employee she hired by choice (who is Coco Pommel, YAY!), call in sick.

So in order to deal with this, she delegates the non window display tasks to the others, so Fluttershy has to deal with the Raccoons, Pinkie Pie the club, Rainbow Dash hires help, Applejack has to deal with Plaid Stripes (the daughter of, possibly Russian, landlord Mr. Stripes.) and her crazy/stupid ideas, and Twilight has to organize.  They do this with each of them thinking like Rarity, lets see how that works for them:

Twilight:  Keeps reorganizing stuff since she's not sure which way Rarity wants the stuff organized.

Pinkie:  At first her shoulder devil and angel (both of whom are Rarity dressed up like an angel and a devil), tell her to just party.

Pinkie:  HOORAY!
Devil Rarity (smacks her):  You really think I would say that?

So then she tricks DJ Pon3 into playing some sort of soft core lullaby song, but then that gets remixed, so fail.

Applejack:  Applejack is an idiot who actually like Plaid Stripes's ideas, but says they're bad because that's what Rarity would say because she's not an idiot.  This results in Plaid Stripes calling her dad because she's a little bitch who can't take it.

Fluttershy:  She wants the raccoons to stay because she's Fluttershy, but Rarity wouldn't want them, so out they go...NOT!  They turn rabid and attack.

Rainbow Dash:  Rainbow Dash rounds up three possible employees and asks them fashion based questions...that she herself doesn't know the answers to.

Rainbow Dash:  The only thing I know is what's clothes and what's not clothes.  You see this seat?  Not clothes.

So they all failed so hard that they locked Rarity in the display window room until they can sort it out, which they do by thinking like themselves instead of like Rarity, once they think like themselves, they let Rarity out and enjoy the:

Dance club/fashion store
Raccoon Butlers
Spoon Gloves to eat soup with
Extra help (Rainbow Dash just had them race to see who'd get the job, they all sucked, so she hired all of them and Rarity'll just fire the other two (or all three of them once Coco's better) later)
Organization by color and fabric or something like that

So it's all a success, HOORAY!

Rarity (present day):  Why didn't you tell me there were so many problems?
Others:  We didn't want you to worry.
Rarity:  Aw!  (hugs)

The End more or less.

Applejack's "Day" Off:

Sadly, aside from the title, that's the only Ferris Bueller reference this episode has...but screw it, I'm gonna play the song anyway!



We start with Rarris Bellueller in the Ponyville Spa steam room waiting for Applejack for their spa day.

Wait a minute, you have a spa day with Applejack AND a spa day with Rarity?  How many days a week is she there?  How many employee's children is she putting through college?

Applejack does arrive though, but it's too late as it's closing time and Rarity (along with Spike's boner) has melted, proving that she is in fact a Marshmallow.

After a quick stop at the candy kingdom for surgery and a hair cut (that's two CN show references), Rarity goes to the farm with Twilight and Spike to get Applejack to take a break and do a spa day.  Twilight and Spike take over the farm work, but only for one hour, as Rarity and Applejack go to the spa where they meet...

Rarity, Applejack, and the viewing audience:  RAINBOW DASH?!?!?!?!?
Rainbow Dash:  Rainbow Dash?  No, no, no, I'm, uh, Rain...bob...Rainbob Dash, Agent of Hydra here to ruin Rainbow Dash's reputation of being kick ass.
Spa Pony:  Ms. Rainbow Dash, your extremely girly and fru fru spa package is ready.
Rainbow Dash:  Ha ha!  I, Rainbob Dash, only did that to make Rainbow Dash look weak! (whispers to spa pony) Schedule me for that tomorrow under the same name. (to others) Now I shall ruin her name even further by watching porn and eating Bon Bons.
Applejack:  But Rainbow Dash already watches porn heavily.
Rarity:  It's why movie night is always at her house.
Rainbow Dash:  Yes, but the Bon Bons are new, so off I go to do that!  Ha ha ha!  Hail Hydra and Captain America, the white Steve Rogers one, not the new black Falcon one.

So with Rain"bob" Dash gone, Rarity and Applejack go to the steam baths, but there is a long line because it takes a while for the steam to get hot enough.  Rarity suggests doing something else, but Applejack is super stubborn in wanting a steam bath, and is off to get to the bottom of this.  After some investigation, she finds out that the spa prides itself on cleanliness since this is a legitimate business and not a front for prostitutes.  This is shown in how quickly they clean their towels for their new hot towel service.  This comes to a head when Applejack finds a leak in the steam pipes or water pipes or whatever pipes are shown.  Thus creating the following loop:

Ponies get cold while waiting for steam room to heat up and use hot towels.
Old towels are instantly washed/heated up, thus using up water for steam making.
Leak in pipe and lack of water make it harder for steam room to heat up, thus making ponies want more hot towels, etc., etc.

So then Applejack gets to work on fixing their leak that they didn't notice due to being busy while Rarity is pissed off at Applejack's workaholic nature and does other spa stuff.  Applejack does fix it, but they run out of time and go check on Twilight, who is not only following Applejack's list, but also doing it without magic since Applejack is an Earth pony...this does not go well since it turns out that Applejack's list for feeding the pigs has evolved to incorporate various problems that are no longer there, yet she does them anyway.

Rarity:  You realize you're an idiot right?
Applejack:  That is beginning to dawn on me yes.

So then Rarity and Twilight look over all of Applejack's chores and streamline them so now Applejack has all the time to spa hang out with Rarity and Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash:  I said I'm Rainbob Da...oh who am I kidding, I'm boned.

Oh Rainbow Dash...you were boned the moment we first saw you in that robe and Tank slippers.

Flutter Brutter:

Oh boy, here we go, this is the one, this is the episode that might be anti brony and be Hasbro biting the hand that feeds it. Well, let's dive into it.

Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash are having lunch at Fluttershy's Parent's house where holy crap it's made out of wood and stone and stuff on clouds and both of them are about as shy as Fluttershy.  Turns out that said lunch is in honor of Papa shy retiring from the cloud/weather factory so he can focus on cloud collecting since his collection has the best pieces from all the stuff he's done.

Wait a minute, how cool is the weather factor with that?  Because that sounds a lot like stealing, which can be a fireable offense.

So now Fluttershy has her animals, her dad has her clouds, her mom has her flowers, and her younger brother Zephyr Breeze has his Mane Therapy/Hair Styling(?) and is gone.

Mr. and Mrs. Shy:  About that...
Fluttershy:  Aw crap.

Yeah, Flutterbro moves back in since he failed at Mane Therapy, and a bunch of other things, also, he thinks Rainbow Dash has a crush on him, which she does not.

Also, with how he acts, I would like to retract my previous statement/worries about this being an anti brony episode, as Zephyr Breeze is clearly a hipster/occupy Wall Street like Millenial who thinks he's a precious snow flake and is ruining it for the rest of us.

I am sorry show.

So Zephyr's actions pretty much piss Fluttershy off.

Fluttershy:  He just makes me so, peeved!
(A Mare covers her child's ears)

Oh my god Fluttershy swore by pony standards!

Also, quick poll, do you prefer it when shows say lesser swear words, or actual swear words that get bleeped?

So, on the advice of her friends, Fluttershy goes to confront her brother on behalf of their parents, which may be too late as he's converting their dad's cloud room into a pottery/art studio, and also damaging Mamashy's flowers.  So Fluttershy calls him out on this and the parents sorta agree as best they can since Fluttershy is braver than them.

HOLY SHIT FLUTTERSHY IS THE BRAVE ONE!!!  Must contemplate calling her Flutterballs...and do a thing based off that one South Park episode, oh wait, I already did.

So Zephyr takes the hint and leaves since he has so many friends dying to have him over...or not as he crashes with Fluttershy.

Fluttershy:  Well I just fucked myself in the ass on this one.

Fluttershy does let him stay, but on the condition that he gets a job, which she gets him thorough friends.

Okay...I slightly take back what I said over how easy it was for him to get a job.

First up is working for Rarity dying fabrics, however, thinking that being Dr. Doolittle is genetic, tries to get animals to do his work...it is not genetic...or at least there can only be one per generation, I never saw the Eddie Murphey ones all the way and also that third one about his daughter.  So he's fired.

Next is working for Princess Sparkle by washing windows, but he tricked Spike into doing them.

Spike:  There were just so many ways and he wanted to know what the best one was and I'm an idiot aren't I?

So he's fired.  Next up is Rainbow Dash with a job at the Wonderbolts academy so simple that if he tries to laze out of it, she'll shock him with a cloud.

He does, so she does.

He now gives up on work, so Fluttershy kicks him out.  He then goes to live in the woods...where he fails...miserably...so miserably that if left to his own devices, he'll die over night.

Fluttershy:  We should probably help him.
Rainbow Dash:  Are you sure?  Because if we just leave him be then the problem will solve itself.
Fluttershy:  ...nah.

So now to skip over the boring song part where we learn that Zephyr is scared he'll fail, Fluttershy better, Fluttershy scared all the time, montage, Zephyr Breeze graduates from Mane therapy school.

Mrs. Shy:  Oh Rainbow Dash, it's so nice that the Stallion you've had a crush on all these years has finally done something.

Oh Rainbow Dash, if there was any time to come out it would be now, but sadly, Hasbro/this show doesn't have the balls that the people over at Clarence have.

That's right, I find Clarence more progressive than Steven Universe.  Mostly because Ruby kinda looks like a boy, and you can definitely tell that Jeff has two mommies.

However, Zephyr still needs a place to stay until he can find one of his own/a job.

Okay, I'll give you that one show, I'll give you that one.

Last one before break.

Spice Up Your Life:

After being broken since the end of last season, Twilight and Starprop fix the Cutie Map, which then sends Rarity and Pinkie Pie off to Canterlot.  Since finding a friendship problem in Canterlot is like finding a needle in a haystack, they decide to take an eating break at one of Canterlot's identical 3 hoof rated restaurants, none of which Pinkie likes because they're all fancy and boring and small portions.  But then Pinkie follows her nose to a nice Indian place called the Tasty Treat and meets chef/everyone's newest waifu Saffron Masala, oh, and her father Corainder Cumin.  The place is good, but since it has a 0 hoof rating, business is non-existent and Papa Cumin wants to close up shop, but Saffron wants to keep going.  Pinkie and Rarity believe this to be the friendship problem, and help them with Rarity helping with the place itself with Cumin, and Pinkie going with Saffron to get customers, where they actually sing a song that isn't the same style they normally do...but here's a better one:



Sadly, none of the fancy folk care for Pinkie or places with no hoofs, and Rarity's a Cyberman who makes the Tasty Treat look like all the other places, although she does get the food critic who gives out all the hoof ratings and discount Ratatouille villain Zesty Gourmand to come by.  Zesty likes the place now that it looks like everything else and suits her style, but Saffron does not want and wants ponies to like them for them, so ditches the boring Frenchy stuff and goes for Indian food, but mishap of trying to not get her to serve it results in the food landing on Zesty's head, so she gets pissed at Rarity's bad taste in food and leaves.  So now Rarity and Pinkie are sad that they failed and Saffron tries to cheer everypony up with food that her dad made her when she was little and says that all she wanted to do was serve food like that to everypony.  Touched by this, Rarity decides to do what I normally do and says fuck you to critics, and then realizes that Pinkie and Rarity need to switch jobs with Rarity getting ponies to come in and Pinkie to put everything back the way it was.  This works as the place is now packed with pones (including Gordon Ramsey pone), but then Zesty comes back and is pissed off at everypony for eating at a place below her standards and that they shouldn't take food advice from dress horse, but then dress horse tells her to go fuck herself, which inspires other ponies to say that to her as well since they own some of the other eateries and they're gonna serve stuff that they want, so Zesty leaves and is never heard from again because while I was talking I secretly texted Chefinator and Cannibal Fighter to go kill her out of irony, HOORAY!

And they all lived happily ever after, or at least until new episodes come out to ruin it.

Speaking of which, even though the show's on hiatus now, there have been leaked episode titles, some confirmed, others rumored, heck, there's two different lists, so I don't know which is real, so until I do, I'm gonna list all of them and say what I think will happen in each.

Here are the confirmed ones according to Zap2it:

Stranger Than Fan Fiction:  Rainbow Dash's Daring Do fanfiction somehow comes to life, making her wonder if she's some sort of god.

The Cart Before the Ponies:  The CMC meet the Underpants gnomes or something.

28 Pranks Later:  Pinkie Pie and/or Rainbow Dash go on a pranking bender, so the others give them a taste of their own medicine.

The Times Are a Changeling:  The Mane 6 hang out with that one Changeling that was seen in episode 100.

Dungeons and Discords:  The Turtles find a D&D like game and play it, but must then face the wrath of Sir Malach!

Oh wait, that was the plot to an episode of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles...just replace Sir Malachi with Discord and The Turtles with either the CMC or Shining Armor and his D&D buddies.

Buck Ball Season:  Ponies play Buck Ball, montages and feelings ensue.

Now for the ones from the two lists, not sure if any of them are real, but both of them have some of the Zap2it episodes on it, so only time will tell on that one.

Viva Las Pegasus:  Ponies go to Las Pegasus, expect lots of porn to spring from it in some way, shape, or form.

Every Little Thing She Does:  Something about Rarity?

PPOV:  This stands for either Pinkie Point Of View or Pony Point Of View, so we're either going to be Pinkie for the episode, or just a new pony that doesn't talk...I hope it's the first one.

Where the Apple Lies:  An Apple family member lies about stuff.

Top Bolt:  Rainbow Dash tries to become Top Bolt while playing erotic volleyball.

To Where and Back Again Parts 1 and 2:  Uh...pass.

The Fault in Our Cutie Marks:  The CMC befriend a pony with Cancer or however that movie goes.

Sizing You Down:  Either insults or shrinking magic is used to sizing somepony down.

Pet Peeves:  Something involving the pets.

Where No Pony Has Gone Before:  Pones in space.

Caving In:  Ponies get stuck in a cave.

Frights, Camera, Action!:  Either Draculaura has to find the one true Vampire Queen, or Scooby and the Gang have to solve the mystery of the haunted movie theater, take your pick.

Spell It Out:  CMC and/or other children compete in a spelling bee.

Flurry Heart of the Swarm Parts 1 and 2:  Okay, THIS sounds like what I wanted to happen for the premier with Chrysalis stealing the baby.

Okay, given how the 6 from Zap2it are probably real, that means we still have 8 episodes left this season unaccounted for, so if I were to pick which 8 I wanted, I'd go with Viva Las Pegasus, PPOV, Top Bolt, Where No Pony Has Gone Before, Caving In (might involve Maud Pie, don't ask how), Frights, Camera, Action!, and Flurry Heart of the Swarm Parts 1 and 2.

Time will tell if any of these are even real, but I'll see you then when we do.  In the mean time, I have an episode of Judge Trudy to watch, and a bitch pony to eat, see ya for Titans soon!